Ever had these moments when
you just lose yourself when you think about the direction you're headed
and the decisions you made that got you where you are today?
It's when you stop going
along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things
about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start
feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then
get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends
that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people
you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing
that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that
they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would
be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going
to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same
people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't
so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not
want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing
and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you
realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to
your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then
secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel
alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try
and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is
drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay
where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such
damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone
decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love
someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you
are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hookups start to look cheap and getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through
the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends
about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for
yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just
like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We
are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can
to figure this whole thing out.
You may already think you know who you
are, what you want and where you're headed.
I don't. I just call it:
thequarterlifecrisis
Anon. Adapted
and modified by RPG because it fits so well and sounds so good